Hallucinate visions from the corner of my eye
This way then vanished never there
Dream recurring all different times
Far off place little man at my side
Surrounded by the rich the famous I see
Checking in a room quite a view
A place of great elegance good music good food
They insist to be friends an honor would be but
Not rich an unknown why talk to me
A wonderment for certain
Did I nod?
Where am I?
Shouldn’t take these things
Medication not mine
I hear a din, a sound
Little ones play company surrounds
Not alone any more
Weakened mind little man fades
Catch a glimpse again
Trails on a chest of drawers, is something there
Look close it’s gone
Unsafe dread feeling abounds
Get out now
It began to dissolve as heads dropped in shame
Children stopped laughing images away
Alone were we in an elegant place
Bright and early 7 a.m. I arrived. He looks a little rough but I know he’s been up for a few hours by now tending his herd. Poor guy. Can’t say I blame him for using his wife’s B&O suppositories occasionally. He’d shown me pictures of them together on his bike, a Harley I think it was, popular in these parts. She was hefty, tough looking the two of them turned toward the camera. Here she was now wasting away in a hospital bed in their home. One side paralyzed, couldn’t speak and certainly didn’t like other women around. She still knew her husband. My assignment was four days a week, the maximum any agency could give. I wouldn’t miss it for his sake and I’d take whatever it was she’d throw at me. He had to hold her one good arm still so she wouldn’t try to pummel me with it. He did let go one day and I still don’t believe she wrestled it away; he wanted a little thrill for himself. She grabbed my breast and squeezed with all her might. “Aaagh” I said as I looked up at him. Nothing I could do about it with one hand on the enema bag and the other digging her out. He was quick to recover although he could’ve been quicker. In fact, he couldn’t have let it happen at all. It wasn’t my fault he was having an affair with the housekeeper. I wouldn’t mess with him and diplomatically rerouted any implication or advances. She had to see that. Whatever happened she was first, I was there for her. Her husband I’d show respect to and support in how he wanted her care, that’s about all. He was critical of my technique but I stopped him dead in his tracks respectfully nonetheless. “Look, I have to learn these procedures and employ them but each person is different. Not everything works with everyone though some things are beneficial to keep infection down. What did you do when you were taking care of her before we got here?” I’d taken car of a bedridden diabetic man a while back who got bedsores on a regular basis. The nurse used the same medicated patches on the sores that would give him an infection every time because he was allergic to what they were made of – a vicious circle that after the sore healed he’d have to take an antibiotic for what he’d developed. So, why did the nurse keep using it? Anyway, that did it. We’d discuss, he’d ask questions, we’d figure out what was best according what I was trained to do and what he knew worked with his wife and together we came up with a morning routine. Still, it’s funny what happens when “for better or worse” becomes reality. Not everyone does well with “for worse”, one too many times all bets are off.
Confident enough, after the enema he’d stepped out to give attention to farming keeping in mind when I’d be leaving. As she peacefully slept I gently clicked the rails to her bed locked, made certain she was covered up and packed my supplies. En route to my car he pulled up in his truck, that look was on his face. “What about my bath?” I stopped and looked up at him. “Vince, do you want me to go back in the house? You’re the only visit I have today.” I spoke in a scolding tone. He thought for a minute, “Nah, you go ahead.” “Alright” and I continued to the car. Glad I didn’t have to do anything further to thwart that one. As a rule he doesn’t make those kinds of requests. Must’ve satisfied him enough.
He needs to lay off those things.