A million birds outside or at least that’s what it sounds like with an interesting array of chirps. Haven’t checked the weather yet, wonder what type of day it’s going to be.
52 now and nothing but sunshine going into the upper 70s. Perfect day for a birthday party at the rollerskating rink and anything else. Grandson is turning 7 and 19 days later the other one will be 2. Life does pass in a blink though I remember being anxious to hit those milestones, 13, 16, 18 then 21. After that there’s nothing else to worry about finally old enough to be legal for everything and no doors will ever be closed to you again. Watch out for big trouble though, all decisions count, you’re responsible and accountable for you but the world is wide open.
It’s one of those thunderstorms, not the one that’s supposed to bring the temperature down but one that’s backfiring, raining a little, couple claps of thunder, surprise flash of lightening then nothing. The wind dies, the rain stops, it gets real still and the humidity goes through the roof while the temperature remains too high. 81 is too high for May 10th during the day never mind 10:30 at night, and the way it’s going there will be no 60-anything. The question is do I want to open the couple windows I have cracked wide, do I want to just turn the fan on low for a breeze I can sleep with, try to crash to a movie, what? I look outside and see people like me with sliding doors open refusing to run AC this soon in the year. The need is inevitable but I’d like another month before I have to face what happens to the utility bill. A month and a half’s better.
It’s still and quiet now. Maddening!
Revelations Rated R With
Le Fate Ingnoranti, Incredible Hulk, 40 Carats: Figure It Out
Don’t you realize how fucked up I am
What inspires, influences
After so many years of pain
An abused person that no one knows
Could never wrap your head around where I’ve been
Easier to accuse and blame it on me
Rather than see what’s under your nose
The kid into the older woman
Should it be so simple
Together let’s run away
As the music plays on and I remember
I remember how it goes, how it went
I know love, well knew sex, I was there
I can relate though you can’t
It’s not easy to break through too many years
But the music brings it back
Brings back all the pain
And the shame at someone else’s hand
Dumped in my lap
As you rationalize back
Backwards to your safe place
My synapse exposed unprotected
No one knows
I will never be back
Gorgeous out. The sliding doors are open, birds chirping their heads off , gentle breeze… let me put the plant outside, hang on. There…
Of course espresso is in order, that I’ll do soon. Yawn, yawn awake. A necessary evil, nah, an enjoyment of life, I certainly hope so. (Not yawning but espresso…)
Lazy, spring fever summer soon day, and I think I’ll make coffee now.
I poured small pools of color onto the paper, put what I call loaner tops on my babies then a smock over that and let them have go. You may be able to detect a handprint or two, and of course the stems and leaf renditions I edited in after the masterpiece was created. The sun that my director said resembled a large squid was mine too. Who says one-year olds are the only ones who can paint!
So good night soon to be good morning about 12 minutes from now. Trying to get through this season I’m watching on Netflix, nodding on and off to the best of my ability, but not impressed by what they have to offer, and thinking about the next vegetable or fruit my one-year olds will interpret with their coloring prowess. We will take a break from images and go straight up art on our cork board for May. You know, May flowers for starters using paint, maybe a big sun shining above… how that’s going to work with four 1-year olds remains to be seen. That’s how it always is so nothing’s going to change. I might cut a page the size of the board and let them dip hands and have go… (I can add stems and leaves after the fact, add their names near their creations as artist’s scrawl). We do wear scrubs now over our clothes as a proxy uniform and I could bring my apron with me to go over that, they have smocks to cover their clothes. Should be safe, sort of, and at least a messy good time.
I’ll let you know how it turns out. In fact, seeing their faces won’t be posted this time I might just take a picture and show you.
April intends to keep raining like I intend to make espresso very soon. Might just stop what I’m doing and get into the kitchen. There’s that word might. Am I not certain I’m going to get into the kitchen? I know I will, I know I can. Ha, but maybe now which means I’ll still my fingers and get up. Listen to that rain. A couple of claps of thunder during the night, some silent lightening against the sky as if a lamp’s bulb snapped out unexpected but I fell back into slumberland in spite of it. I’ve no intention of going anywhere or doing any more than relaxing with a few good movies and good company.
My only concern right now is what size espresso pot, how many shots…
Forgot my raincoat
Running back home before the bus arrives
The wind fighting me
Blowing me back is what it seems
No don’t seem
Esse quam videre
It can’t be real
My jacket flapping in the breeze
I won’t stop
Trying to wrap around me Nefertiti
Grabbing my hands
Catching my wrists
Made it to the parking lot
A couple more strides
Didn’t have parking lots in Egyptian times
Not so advanced
Or were they?
Are parking lots advancement
Coating asphalt over earth?
Made it inside
Snatched up my prize
Raincoat over my arm
Let it pour
Checked transport radar and there’s still time
Out the door to the corner
I’ll catch the bus here