Waiting for a new word document to open up, sitting feeling chilly – not a bad chilly being in the 50s outside and comfortable inside but like I could use a pair of slippers which I’m about to get. Woke a 2 – figured I’d do a couple of things to get drowsy again, possibly throw espresso into the mix. Wish I had half and half… I hate the way regular milk makes it taste (why at all you ask, just a crazy way I like my espresso) … prefer my fat milk instead. May that be the worst of my troubles on any given day. Now why do you supposed the spell check wants a question mark at the end of that… Guess I’ll tell it ignore then save though I don’t have a title yet so it can stop underlining it in green. Put on a wash too – think the rates are better this time of night, or morning more accurate. And I am felling tired… no, I’m feeling tired. Good time to stop. Think I’ll put my head down…
But in my case it wouldn’t have been very profitable. Not like one of those rapper guys. Once you sing out the pain and make a fortune, once life changes and you’re not on the street anymore what do you sing about? You don’t worry about it. Act a little, open a clothing line, keep making money, and keep busy. Never having been in that kind of limelight oh well, losing the pain / having the pain doesn’t matter. No one gives it a second thought. Have I made it to my windowsill in my quart baggie and rolled across the street into the ocean? “Now what” indeed! Do I need something gut wrenching to inspire enough words to get at least a novelette, what do they call them, novella, to get a novella out of it. Think.
Nah … just something inspiring. That’s it. As it goes, ‘tell me something good’…
It might have been called a visitation in some sects, you know, when a supernatural being makes an appearance that we brush off as fantasy, but it really happened. He was a rational man not taken to such beliefs, I mean; he hadn’t a serious opinion one way or another. He was a good heart as was his wife. Then she died, quietly, and he was alone. They hadn’t slept together in years not for any reason but a small sacrifice for anything they’d done, might have done in the past that wasn’t the best decision, that could’ve been done better. I remember her saying how they’d decided and how they smiled at each other. Even at his age I think he might not have totally agreed with it but he loved her that much. It was ok. He didn’t sleep in his room so much these days. There was a very comfortable recliner in the living room right outside the room she’d chosen as her bedroom.
He said he was stirring that morning, the sun was blazing in through the windows and he began opening his eyes then realized she was standing there in a long white robe no less. She was looking around the room. He started and became fully awake as the recliner was snapped straight up into sitting position. He looked around but she was gone. I don’t remember if he’d said the living room wasn’t as bright, but the sun was still streaming through the windows.
His faced glowed whenever he told the tale. “I think she was checking to make sure I was keeping the place up. She’s keeping an eye on me. I’d better make sure I take care of things.” And he’d laugh.
What do I want to say today? Good morning world… yes but how?
Good morning world!
Looking over old posts I thought maybe I’d take something out, dust it off and see what I could make of it whether expand on it, turn it into a different story or add a chapter where there weren’t any. I’m looking out at the rain that wasn’t supposed to be until 10 a.m. at 20 minutes to 7 right now. Spring does what spring does having the responsibility of waking up plants and making things grow. Is it responsibility or just something that happens naturally? Is that such a ridiculous question? Nothing too heavy to contemplate in the morning; I have the week off after all.
So here are a couple, and with them I might decide what to do – oh dear, rhyming.No, it doesn’t rhyme now that I changed from “here’s a few” to “a couple”. Well, why not I say as the sun begins to shine. Esse quam videre, better to be than seem (to be or not) – always liked that.
Standing Up For Your Kids: Soft Cloth (AKA Take That!)
“When I first sent the friend request, there was a bit of relish behind the notion of telling you off. I decided it wasn’t worth it, not that at times there aren’t things that need be said. Then I thought I’d start a healing process. Healing for what exactly? We’ve never been friends. After what you did to my son we’re never going to be. Any salutation or good will wish would be false on my part. I have no desire to extend my arm around you and say, “Let bygones be bygones.” As victims of a pre-meditated attempted murder, I don’t think we owe you, the perpetrator, anything.
All this to say I’m removing you from my friends list. I guess something was said after all. So much for the soft cloth mom theory. If you wish to use any of this for personal or professional dissertation, you must purchase the rights to my property from me first.”
An Unfinished Writing Challenge
“She closed the book, placed it on the table and finally decided to walk through the door. There was no back deck and she fell face first in the mud. She awoke with a nudge… nudge… nudge. Standing over her was a T-Rex with long arms. He smiled. ”My name is Rogue. Are you ok?” “Huh?” Stunned by the fall she slurred, “You talk… y-yh-yhoo talh… k.” Her eyes rolled back, her body went limp. She dreamt of falling in darkness.”
I don’t know. Let’s see what I come up with…
Let’s discuss this
Just like grownups
I’ve something to say
It’s on the tip of my tongue
You know that hiding place
Wha duhh ih sa… ?
Resolutions to consider
I like being me
I know who I am
I finally understand
Each day is new
I observe, participate
Celebrate each breath
Ponder if it’s my best
Life is for living
To the full it’s true
So this time next year
All the others too
The only thing I must do
Is write the correct date
On a check, papers, application…
100 Word Challenge For Grownups
Prompt: “…this time next year…”
Three fifty-two is no hour to wake
But it won’t let me sleep
Even the movie I chose to lull me back
It’s been a while but that’s alright
It’ll have its audience
So I type, I write
Four cents in royalty
Well what do you call that!
Thank-you for reading
The expression goes
“I wouldn’t give you a nickel”
I’ve won then
I’ve won it today
A few days ago when it posted
A good sign
I’ll put the movie back in soon
Maybe catch another hour
I do love this time
And the peace of the night
Hearing odd sounds
I’ll get up to see
BRB as it goes
An emoticon of concern I’d insert
I’m back (baaa-ack)
The house is settling it seems to be
Esse quam videre
To be rather than seem
Now I want to buy more Latin books
Brush up on vocabulary
Time to get back to school
Hey! I bought a pair of PJs at Vicky’s
Black top, pants with pink champagne flutes
Look at the time
Should try to catch a wink
One ought to do
Nice taking to you
Heart perfectly broken
Is it his or mine
To be sublime
I can’t define
I could collapse
From passion no
Wouldn’t help what hurts
Could we go back where we were
No sense of time
Could we stay?
I don’t want to feel again
How we do today
I tell you I just wanted to write something, anything… Up early while it’s still dark that I haven’t done in such a long while but what am I doing instead? Browsing through websites, shopping for clothes I don’t need, didn’t I manage a VS order of over 300 bucks? Yeah, by their standards that’s what – 2 tops or one bra? Now what? Should I push “place order” or just leave it there? May get up in half a mo to make coffee, sneak around while a child gently snores – what a pleasure he’s here. With my own place I don’t get to see him as often as I’d like; no morning hugs every day, no how was your day tell me all about kindergarten, nothing. We get a babysitting weekday and weekends. Precious time, it always was precious time.
I hear the sounds of air conditioning units in the background. It’s 50 degrees outside, why on earth would you want air conditioning on? Don’t people realize they can just open windows and have a cool place without jacking up the electric bill? How nice not to worry about that but I’d be too cold in any case. I prefer the morning breeze and a warm sweater. Healthier I think.
Can’t afford the newspaper; I mean 6 bucks just because it’s Sunday? Seriously? Must be extra special news or am I being charged for the coupon sheets that are included? Not much of a discount. Better off just shopping and forgetting about the paper.
There goes that AC unit again. Must have the thing set on ‘snow”. Wonder if that could happen. Up for coffee I go. If I still my mind and focus on deafening silence I’ll get some inspiration to write.
A hint of daylight is beginning to outline the sliding doors to the balcony…
Better get a sweater…
All else aside – the stove is an old Sears Kenmore – no oven light, no timer but hotter than hell – can keep the volume turned down with this one…
For the first time in a long time I reached for my pens. Those fountain things that make my handwriting really me. I found ink but no pen; you know I’ll be buying new ones tomorrow, so I grabbed a mechanical pencil discovering one had lost its eraser and lead covered the bottom of the suede case from undergrad days, worn but still intact. Anyway, I’ll get to that and this’ll do.
Write a note to myself the instructor of the child development session had requested – firmly. She’ll be back in two weeks to discuss. Find something in the handouts and I did; the first thing in fact.
What can I do to prevent burnout? Do it now, not later. OK.
Let me say this is the best teaching job I’ve ever had and I’ve had a few. There’s a slight chance here, a slight possibility I’ll make a difference. I’ll take it!
I examine myself every day and always look for a better way. It’s who I am.
Am I perfect? No way in hell. I make mistakes with a flair yet these kids know better which sometimes makes it tough. They know my flaw. I’ve fallen in love again with each and every one down to the babies. Barely reaching five they’re all babies, but down to the infants. All possess that knowing look. How do they do that so young?
Fresh from God it’s wisdom I used to have. I need to remember, to get that back to return, to give right back to them.