Keeping Occupied

 

I was finally in the most peaceful sleep ever and the wind rattled me into consciousness. It figures. It was loud enough it really did sound like the windows would be blown out and the wall would be next. I’d hung a towel out, went to check on it and found it wasn’t as drenched as I thought it’d be. Guess it was more wind than anything else. I did hear rain though be that as it may, sat up to write keeping myself awake more than I wanted to be – that would be the post before this one (can you tell how groggy I was; I’m telling you my fingers even got tangled in each other but they wouldn’t stop), found a movie to help lull me back and couldn’t even focus on it. I turned away from it and drifted off in maybe a minute. When I woke it was close to 7 but still dark, potted around, put a blanket out to air, got better dressed, thought I might go to the store, changed my mind, had a nice walk and about now I’m ready for coffee.

 

I haven’t had Christmas with my grandson yet, the oldest one; hopefully it’ll be soon.

 

sylasgrandmachristmas

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Grandma’s Christmas

 

I am very tired not from anything constructive that’s kept me so occupied all day but from relaxation. True that with each thing I did, like washing my face, I cleared the sink off, sprayed it down and cleaned it, finally got to the mirror and removed splash spots and going to the bathroom I put a new tablet in the tank and washed the bowl. I’d been peacefully asleep but the winds picked up to the point of rattling windows as if they would blow out of their frames, well more accurately it sounded as if the wall might be ripped open while rain slapped the side of the building. Kind of like sleeping through a tornado it wouldn’t have been impossible to sleep through it all but this sensation insisted on presenting itself that I could be getting very wet very soon. “Oh, the towel” that’d been draped over a chair on the balcony made me wonder if it were still there not that it would have more of an impact than a wall being torn off a building. Nonetheless I got up to check and was surprised when I went to its rescue it just wasn’t that wet. Is this scenario, or should I say this time around the bark of the elements was worse than their bite? I don’t even care if that sentence makes sense. That towel I now have hanging in the bathroom with a fan blowing on it to dry is making the entire place smell wonderfully fresh. Now that’s worthwhile.

 

And I’m annoyed with myself for letting this thing distract me when all I want to do is close my eyes.

 

While I’m thinking of it I’m taking my stuff into the bedroom. Maybe I’ll stop typing and find a movie to lull me back not that I think it’ll take much effort on my part to nod off. There goes that wind again pushing the unseasonably warm out of the way of the cold it should be. Huh, says who… Is that thunder? There’s the rain again that shouldn’t be here, by now it was supposed to have stopped. Do the weathermen really know for sure? Mother nature smiles a “the hell you say”.

 

In any case like I said, I am tired and for the last time I’m going to read this thing through. Though under the covers my slippers aren’t keeping my feet warm and my flannel shirt isn’t keeping the rest of me warm.

 

Oh bother!

 

 

 

What Kind Of Origins Might They Be

 

Brothers I was watching them

Not you being called brothers but poetically speaking with words rearranged

I hate it when I have to explain too much

Thinking is this something that won’t inspire me

Although simply looking around anything could or should

I watched as differences flared and began shaking my head

So this is where dysfunctional came from maybe

And this side of a faction of family influenced by the classics

How distinct the generations are with dignity here but not there

Easy enough to sell each other out skips a generation

No doubt where they got the idea to throw people away as it were

When catalogued time began and we started writing about it

It’s inconvenient having you as one of us

Isn’t that just great thanks for sharing that expression inane

If Kronos, wait, that’s a watch

If Cronus tried to eat, well ate some of his offspring and who’s left had to trap him to escape with their lives

Why make a bargain now and believe he’ll give a gift once released

Millennia he’s had to stew about it

He’s the parent, the hierarchy

His attitude toward kids wouldn’t have changed

He’ll fix them once he gets out outranking all

“But I set you free I want to rule…” belch

 

Right

 

I sit back, up straight and think so that’s were humanity got that one from

The general base what the house is built on

Since the beginning of time would certainly make it a tough habit to break

I read it’s not about the music life plays but how we dance to it

Makes sense nodding as I type

Not in agreement sleep trying to take over knocking me out of the way

Selfish sleep wants the limelight reminding me of days of study

Falling asleep typing papers then waking with fingers still poised in place

Seeing words as the document comes into focus waking thought where was I

For right now change position stay awake

Maybe

Walking from one room to another will I remember what’s running through my head

It won’t stop

Best I get typing

 

Anyway

 

Would it be, is this the original-original sin

Or did that happen later appear on the scene then

A comical attitude indeed

Zeus becomes mortal because no one prays anymore

Nothing else to do

Would this be the to-earth fall from grace or Olympus from light

Groundwork be laid

Maybe the idea of a superhero group next step

Extraordinary people learning how to live in a community

Egos united

Is that even possible

Marvel at the concept oh look, secret messages

Going from petty to mortal sin in becoming mortal

The way they sin changes or not it’s the same on a different plane

The very thing wrong with the world today

Whoa, reel it back in no getting sublime if that’s what it is

Back to basics, the origins of origins

One brother doesn’t like his job in the underworld

Fair enough not much sun, no aesthetics

Time to stew he sets up the coup

As a rule we should learn from our mistakes

Was it just too long ago to recall this one

The idealist brother shows, Zeus thunderbolt and light

The god of war is the angry one always looking for a fight

The god of the sea joins Zeus to see what’s going on and help

People living by the sea are happier and at peace for the most part

Yet something doesn’t feel right brings family together brothers assemble

At least some of them as all hell breaks loose

Yeah happens a lot in families

Someone blurts out I’ve been holding this in but not any more

After the fact feel bad about not thinking things through first

Later on when the damage is done the adage about the mirror rings true

Throw it in the tub

Look down at the pieces

Say you’re sorry

My bad

Can’t fix what’s happened but take it from there, here

Options anyone

How will we dance to this

First let’s get this guy out of office and back where he was or out of the picture

Better if we didn’t have to worry about him any more

Nip down the road someone getting him out again

On and on over history over time

The mummy, the mummy’s hand, the mummy’s tomb, the mummy’s toenail

But that’s a different tale

 

Anything new under the sun

Probably not

Unless you’ve got one

 

Which Movies

 

You know that part where they kiss

On his marriage raft enclosed in bed curtains drifting

For some reason I muse do you have to act

Horns and that kind of grin

Then I thought, “Did I fall asleep at this part

Doesn’t make sense

Don’t remember it being this … in … volve… d … ”

I know the sensation of that first kiss

Too many times with the wrong guy…

Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t that many

I believe in picking myself up, keep going

Dusting myself off

But not that many

Not that I don’t…

 

Just

Never mind

Whew, narrow escape that one

 

Moving on

 

What if I butt in on a scene if I were close by

And make a comment, a gibe

“What he was trying to say

Hitting the sake means they had too much to drink

Just an idiom”

I’d look at them, aiming at him, shake my head in woe

Continue on my way

Born in a Borough you know how it’d sound

A noted NY place

The accent is me

Nothing but authenticity

 

You know I would be

 

Two of my favorites

Similar genre in individual lights

A good way to fall into sleep

Getting cozy at night

 

 

 

You Missed It

 

I’ve been here to grow old with the whole time

But you weren’t there

Didn’t come

Never turned up

 

Now the condition of my body is more of a scare

At least I think so

To an outsider anyway

Looking for a smoother face

 

A youthful outline

 

You didn’t show

To build memories with one who could care

Passionately so

Each wrinkle or scar has a story to tell

 

And each one you’d have known so well

 

Like a traveled map

Run your finger over trace

This one’s me, this one’s…

Doesn’t matter being one

 

Well, could have been

 

You weren’t there

Opportunity lost Odysseus, sail, sail, sail

Here I am in Autumn years

Who I am I wouldn’t trade

 

I could’ve been really cool to know

 

But you missed it

 

 

 

What If I Said Please

 

That’d be a good title I’d thought as I looked at the child who couldn’t yet speak. Going from one thing to another, throwing things on the floor not even playing just running his hand along the shelf for the sake of knocking everything off then moving on to the next full shelf. Are we having fun yet? Is this fun? I wanted to get shoes and socks on. Not me, them. After all it’s getting close to time. What if I said please although it’d mean nothing to you, them, but to someone. Who? And why does thinking of it make me feel warm? You know that kind of inviting warmth like there’s something to it that it’s directed at something… someone… reaching. Again someone. There is no one.

 

But what if I said please?

 

 

Christmas Stocking

 

Laptop on the monopoly game

On the coffee table just within reach

Slippers tangled in the power cord

Could be warm otherwise nothing to see

Leftover coffee at my side

Steaming just enough

iPad poised on the corner

iPhone positioned on top

Check the dragons to see what’s next

 

But first

 

Assemble a Christmas gift

Ensure it works

No heartbreak Christmas day

Yeah it does but quality now is lower case

These days it isn’t the same

Crazy glue rescues that good thing

How the world has changed

Heat kicks on rumbles low

Keeping 18 degrees outside

That residual smell in the air

Warmth is there

Bringing memories to mind

 

Not this time

 

 

Writing Something

 

Quick quick I’m running out of time

Then the font is wrong again

How many times must I make New Roman my default

Honestly when will this new upgrade get it straight

And so many typos

Am I all thumbs

Maybe not sitting right

 

Anyway

 

Write something was on my mind

But orders gone astray

And customer service calls took up my time

So with minutes ticking before I get dressed for work and catch my bus

I sit with cleansing cream on my face

Typing furiously

Hoping for something to say

 

Type something

Type something

 

Something

 

There

 

Now exercise and get dressed within only minutes to spare

 

 

 

Nothing And All Of It

 

A Jumble Of Words…

Speaking of which, Word may want to give me fits today. Interesting, or not, the way updates confuse the technological universe. Looking outside it’s very slick. Could it be ice? According to the weather it’s above freezing and rainy. Well, there go my delusions of possible snow during the night and the center being closed tomorrow. The sun hasn’t come out yet, ha, I should say the daylight and clouds haven’t even come out yet and I’m thinking of tonight. Clothes hanging inside to dry, lights on the balcony still on, what do I want, a shower, cappuccino, both? Yes. So peaceful and quiet the heat’s not even on. A gentle ticking of the mantle clock though I don’t have a mantle. Haven’t turned on the fragrance warmer yet.

 

A Last Tango In Paris brings back bad memories, bad times, wrong husband-to-soon-be-ex, and that poor actress. How directors take advantage and dehumanize another. It’s like overwhelming greed when there’s gold nearby. Bertolucci and Brando got awards but why didn’t the actress. Outrage over the incident but they got the prize nonetheless. Who’s kidding who? I saw it, didn’t want to but my boyfriend wanted to, thought it was horrible. The entire movie made me sick inside. Wonder why it’s so newsy now and has to be brought back into the light… the spotlight. I’m glad Italy doesn’t agree with abuse and treated Bertolucci accordingly. Maybe that’s it.

 

I’m feeling a little tired but don’t want to leave the warmth of the quiet and morning peace. A cappuccino for now, contemplating showering, and I’ll turn on the fragrance warmer to add a soft light.

 

The heat kicked on.